M&M's

My friend Lenny, who died in 2003, was a unique person.  This is one of the many funny true stories.  Lenny had recently had surgery for colon cancer which  removed a large section of the colon.  When they do this they place a tube called an NG tube in the nose. The tube suctions from the stomach and is snaked down the nose, throat and to the stomach.  It is connected to the nose with a sticky tape to hold it in place. The tube keeps everything out of the bowel so it can heal. Of course it goes without saying you are instructed not to eat or drink with this tube in place.

For those of you who didn't know Lenny, he taught guitar and had many students. One of the students brought a bag of M&M's to him in the hospital immediately after he'd surgery. I didn't think much of it and I left them at the bedside. I didn't take them because I assumed he'd be sharing them with students and nurses but, it didn't cross my mind he might eat them. But, Lenny had suffered a brain aneurysm years before which affected his reasoning, to what I believed to be comparable with a young teenager's reasoning and perhaps it should have crossed my mind because....

I walked into his room later noticing he looked stunned to see me, his eyes appeared like they'd popped out of his head then he quickly began sifting though the bed sheets with his hands. I wandered up to the bed watching him but I didn't know what he was looking for.  I laid my hands on the sheets and I started sifting through them too as I asked, "What are you looking for?"

Lenny stopped looking through the sheets IMMEDIATELY and said "Nothing!" as his head up tipped up.   On the end of his nose, stuck to the tape was a green M&M. 
My mouth dropped open, I stared at him for a second then sternly asked, "Have you been eating M&M's?"

His mouth dropped open in stunned shock as he tried desperately to appear casual.  He scanned the tubing.  His neck craned around trying to just glance back to the jar on the wall.  After he scanned it for a moment he quickly looked back at me ans said defiantly. "NO!"

Very slowly I asked ..."You're ... sure ....you haven't eaten ...any M&M's?" as my head was slowly rocking side to side, my eyes raised in question while staring at the M&M hanging off the tape at the end his nose, biting my lip trying not to burst out laughing.

His eyes shifted back to the tube as he again slowly scanned the tubing and this time stared at the container on the wall to assure himself that there were no M&M's in it. He whipped his head back at me with a look that almost screamed  "How in the Hell does she know?" Then said, "No," adding in an offended tone, "I can't believe you'd even ask me that!" .

I burst out laughing and snatched the M&M off his nose and asked, "Then what the Hell is this?"

He looked as though he'd swallowed his tongue. He inhaled as he stared in disbelief at the M^M and grinned  his infamous grin, completely busted.