The Best Nursing...

          It was an exceptionally busy day, as I remember, and one of my six patients’ was confused.  He was dying and as he got closer he began trying to climb out of the bed every few minutes.  I couldn’t get anything done and my frustration was going through the roof.  In a moment of desperation I asked him if  he would feel better if I held his hand.  I didn’t expect him to respond because he was so confused, but he did, saying to me,  “You don’t have time for that!”  

       I looked at him and said, “Of course I do.” but was thinking, "You’re right, I don’t have time for this!" 

        I held his hand silently for several minutes, the entire time thinking how late I was going to have to stay to catch up because of this waste of my valuable time.  After ten to fifteen minutes of standing at his bedside rubbing his hand and his shoulder, squandering my time with a guy who probably didn’t even know I was still standing there, he looked up at me as large crocodile tears welled up in the corners of his eyes and began sliding slowly down his cheeks and he asked me, “Do you have any kids?” 

           I stared at him completely caught off guard by the lucid question and his eyes staring straight into my eyes.  I swallowed hard and nodded my head, unable to answer him verbally.  “I’m sure gonna miss my kids.” he confided to me.

           I squeezed his hand and rubbed his shoulder standing there a few more minutes until he dozed off to sleep.  He never woke again and died about an hour and a half later.  His kids had just arrived from out of state a few minutes before he died.   I told them about how his thoughts were only of them and what he’d said to me.  After he passed, they hugged me and thanked me for being such a “special nurse” and I remember I feeling small because of what my thoughts had been, but I had learned and invaluable lesson.  The best nursing care of my life had nothing to do with any skill I had learned, it was simply taking the time to hold a hand.